


White Chrysanthemums

by LocalChaoticMistake



Category: Ouran High School Host Club - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Eating Disorders, Hospitals, Language of Flowers, Light Angst, M/M, Not Beta Read
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-30
Updated: 2020-08-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:14:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26190226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LocalChaoticMistake/pseuds/LocalChaoticMistake
Summary: White chrysanthemums mean many things in different cultures across the world.In Japan they symbolize grief and mourning. Traditional funeral flowers.It's fitting.
Relationships: Fujioka Haruhi & Hitachiin Kaoru, Hitachiin Hikaru & Hitachiin Kaoru, Hitachiin Kaoru/Ootori Kyouya
Comments: 1
Kudos: 49





	White Chrysanthemums

To say Haruhi was worried would be an understatement. She knew Kaoru wasn’t well. He had been getting sick more often missing school more times than not. She wasn’t too concerned until Hikaru left.

_It was host club hours and Haruhi was chatting with her guests. Something about commoner holidays and the differences in celebrating when she heard a crash come from the other side of the room. Hikaru, one hand holding a phone to his ear, the other outstretched from where it held the teacup that was now on the floor. Without a word to his concerned guests or the other hosts, he grabbed his bag and ran from the room._

He didn’t answer any of their texts no matter how frequently they sent them. It was complete radio silence from the two twins until a week later Haruhi woke up to a message from Hikaru. An address. Specifically a hospital’s address and a room number. He didn’t answer any of her anxious messages in reply though she knew he read them. Hikaru, unlike Kaoru, had read through all the worried messages the host club sent them.

Thankful that it was the weekend, Haruhi hopped on the train and made her way to the hospital and the room Hikaru sent her.

Haruhi hated hospitals. They were too sickly-sweet yet too clinical in a way that made her stomach turn. They reminded her too much of her mom. They were too harsh with their bright florsesents and hite walls and blunt diagnoses.

Still, ignoring the crawling way the building made her feel, she raises her hand and knocks on the door in front of her.

“It’s open,” An unfamiliar voice came from the otherside. Haruhi stepps through the door, passing by the speaker, a nurse who informed her when visiting hours ended, on their way out. Inside was Kaoru lying in a hospital bed.

He wasn’t well. Haruhi knew that, but she wasn’t aware of how bad it was until she saw the ginger laying there. His body normally hidden by the thick layers of their school uniform, was frail and almost skeletal. Deep bags lay under his eyes that seemed to be fighting to stay awake. An IV ran from his arm up to a bag on a pole and a tube connected to another bag she didn’t recognize went through his nose. A heart rate monitor beeps in the background.

“You’re sick,” Haurhi says bluntly.

Kaoru rolls his eyes and sighs. A long and heavy sigh that hurt her to hear. How long had he been like this? “Nice work detective, what gave it away? The heart rate monitor or the tube in my nose?”

She flinches. “Sorry, yeah. Dumb thing to say.” He doesn’t reply so Haruhi takes a moment to look around the room. It’s clinical and empty aside from the machines, but even still miles above the small cramped one her mom was in. A bouquet of flowers sits on the bedside table, a spot of color in the otherwise white room. Roses, beautiful ones. And hidden amongst them a single white chrysanthemum.

“Kaoru?” a small hum. “Who sent you these? That’s horrible.” The ginger opens his eyes at that and stares at the offending flowers next to him.

“Those?” he smiles softly. “Are an inside joke Haruhi.”

She frowns. “Not a very funny one.”

Kaoru shrugs half-heartedly, “Not at all.” From the way he stares at the flowers Haruhi can tell there’s something she’s missing. He doesn’t seem to hate their presence though then again she’s not sure if he has the energy to hate anything right now. Apathy rolls of him in waves. It’s unsettling to see the once so energetic host laying so still. There’s a heaviness set in his bones. Far too much for someone his age.

“He likely would have sent an entire bouquet,” Kaoru says off-handedly, interrupting Haruhi’s internal monologue. She sits in the chair near his bed. It’s as uncomfortable as the one she remembers. She wonders if that’s a prerequisite for hospital chairs. “If Hika wouldn’t get mad about it. With the single one he didn’t even notice.”

Speaking of the older twin… “Has he visited you?” With the terrified way the host ran out of the club that day it was a wonder he wasn’t watching over his brother at all times. Yet Hikaru was seemingly nowhere to be found.

“He did. He did what I knew he’d do and left,” Kaoru closes his eyes again as he speaks. As if the words take too much energy to say with them open. “He was scared and so he yelled and left. He’s supposed to come back in a few days and then I apologize, but.” He sighs, leaving the sentence hanging in mid-air.

“But?”

“I’m tired Haruhi.” His eyes are open again. Staring at her with half-closed eyes. Every time he blinks they close a bit more. “Too tired to apologize for something I’m not sorry for. Too tired to play his games.” Tiredness cloaked his words, weighing them down. It wrapped around his frail body, his motions lethargic if they happened at all. His breaths are slow and the heart monitor beeps at a worryingly slow pace. 

“He came back and I didn’t apologize for making him upset. So he yelled some more asked questions he didn’t want an answer to and stormed off. I imagine the guilt’s what made him text you.” Kaoru motions to her with a sardonic twirl of his hand. “Didn’t want me to be alone, but didn’t want to be there himself.”

There was no anger in his words. Just a sort of resigned expectedness. Hikaru’s actions didn’t surprise him after all he’d lived with him all his life. The older twin had changed sure, but he was still as immature as he was during their first fight.

Hikaru felt as though he’d failed. He was so caught up in other things, namely Haruhi, that he didn’t notice how bad his brother was until it was almost too late. He was scared and he was angry at himself. But Hikaru had always directed that anger elsewhere and Kaoru knew it. His brother could be so childish and he didn’t have the energy to deal with it.

“Why haven’t you told the other hosts? They’re all really worried.” He sighs and Haruhi wonders if that’s all he can muster up the energy to do.

“I know they are. That’s why I don’t want them here.” That made sense. The others were loud and could be way too much at times. Even if they were quiet they’d be filled with pity and blame for not doing something sooner. And Haruhi knew better than most how frustrating pity was in hospitals.

They sit in silence for a while after that. Haruhi thinking and Kaoru seemingly sleeping if it wasn't for the heart monitor that shows he’s still conscious. It’s an awkward silence though not a necessarily bad one. Haruhi doesn’t know what to say, doesn’t want to exhaust the other teen any more than he clearly is. She doesn’t want to leave him there either.

“You don’t have to stay,” Kaoru says after a while. “I know you hate hospitals.” Haruhi blinks at that. It’s easy to forget how perceptive Kaoru can be. He picks up on the slightest movements and reactions. Haruhi wonders if it comes from living with Hikaru or dealing with other kids.

“I’m fine,” Haruhi says and he sighs again.

“Seriously, go. I don’t need you here and you don’t want to be here. So go.” He doesn’t say anything after that and Haruhi knows there’s no point in arguing with him. So she gets up from the chair in the corner and makes her way back to the train station, shooting Hiakru a text as she walks.

Kaoru stares at the flowers as he drifts off to sleep.

_Kaoru and Kyoya sit in one of the couches in the empty club. It was something they did quite frequently. Away from the rest of the club and their siblings. If anyone knew about their meetings they’d likely be accused of making out like rabbits or something akin to that. In truth, they sat there quietly, hands barely touching, staring at everything and nothing._

_“I don’t feel real anymore,” Kaoru says, interrupting the silence the two sat in. “Everything seems too distant.”_

_Kyoya turns to look at him, running a hand through the other’s hair. “How so?”_

_The ginger sighs and leans against the raven-haired boy. “It feels like I’m watching everything through a fog. I don’t quite fit. More like a ghost watching the living.”_

_The older teen hums. “Well if I’m dating a ghost then perhaps white chrysanthemums would be more appropriate than red roses.”_


End file.
